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加州大學伯克萊分校(University of California, Berkeley)心理學理論家戴安娜.鮑姆林德(Diana Baumrind),在歷經十年研究後,首度提出「權威性」養育法的優越性。研究成果報告中,鮑姆林德提出養育兒女風格大略可分出四種類型的父母:
一、「威權型父母」(Authoritarian parents):其特色是立下許多的限制和對兒女的期望;父母嚴格執行,兒女唯命是從。
二、「威信型父母」(Authoritative parents):也有制定家規,但較有彈性;父母不僅主動向兒女解釋制定家規的原因,同時自己也身體力行。兒女們不僅能瞭解到「限制」是出於「愛護」,也能感受到父母的愛心和家庭的溫暖。
三、「放任型父母」(Indulgent parents):這類父母對孩子行為上的約束力非常有限,父母態度是隨和的、可溝通的,但本身卻不具備任何的權威。
四、「放牛吃草型父母」(Uninvolved parents):這類父母對兒女不抱任何的期望和要求,同時對兒女的請求,也表現出懶得理會或回應。少部份的父母更表現出忽略、疏忽,甚至拒絕承擔父母的角色。
以此分類對70年代學齡前孩童進行研究,結果是:
「放牛吃草型父母」的兒女,在所有領域中,表現最為低劣,造成的社會問題也是最大。
「放任型父母」的兒女,則常表現出任性、有侵略性、缺乏自信心和成績低落。
「威權型父母」養育出來的兒女,會表現出情緒困擾和脾氣暴躁。
這是因為當父母親,嚴厲要求過多過高,甚至苛求時,雖有助於能力表現和行為控制,但情緒管理就容易出現偏差。
「威信型父母」的兒女,則表現出肯合作、自律、有活力、友善和肯上進。因為有責任心的父母親,既能即時回應兒女,也重視兒女心理成長的各樣的需要。又因「威信型父母」比「威權型父母」更客觀、更有效率;尤其對青少年,隨著年歲的增長,更具有權威、影響力、說服力。
透過這一堂課學習上述四類型的父母,我需要在哪些方面稍作調整,讓我們的親子關係與互動更加美好?請分享。
After
ten years of researches, Dr. Diana Baumrind,
a research psychologist with University of California at Berkeley,
explained the superiority of authoritative style of parenting. She
mentioned that generally speaking, parenting can be categorized in four
types:
1. Authoritarian parenting: parents set
clear boundaries, restrictions and expectations for their children.
Parents strictly abide by the rules and children are expected to be
obedient.
2.
Authoritative parents: parents also set rules, but are more flexible;
They not only explain to their children the reasons for the rules but
also follow those rules themselves. Children not only understand that
the restrictions are for their own protections, but also can sense the
love and warmth from their parents and their home.
3.
Indulgent parents; These type of parents have very little control over
their children. Their attitudes are compliant, easy to communicate with,
but they lack any authority to their children.
4. Uninvolved parents:
This type of parents have no expectations or
requirements to their children. They also lack responses or interests to
their children’s requests. A few of them are even negligent and
sometimes evasi |